Moments of Solace

No, I'm not channeling the new Bond movie. Though I'd like to see it sometime it was a Twilight weekend for me. I got to see it two times and am fully planning to see it again this week when we go to Arizona. My friend Margie saw it SIX times....I'm totally jealous! Two huge thumbs up from me! Anyway, despite all the difficulties we're facing there seem to be moments of normalcy and solace that I'm appreciating these days. Like getting out and going to the movies with some girlfriends. Phone calls and e-mails from friends and family. Eating popcorn and watching a movie with the girls. Tonight I was sitting in our bedroom watching TV, Emma had fallen asleep and I knew Gracie wasn't asleep yet but was getting there. I heard her talking and muted the TV for a minute. She was actually singing and it was so sweet it made me cry. I could tell she was sleepy but she new the words..."I wuv to see da tempo, I doeing dere someday" (translation: "I love to see the temple, I'm going there someday"). I went in to give her a kiss and tuck her in again, she opened her eyes and asked me why I came in. I told her I heard her singing and she wanted me to sing with her (which I told her we'd do tomorrow because she needed to go to sleep). We have the song on a CD in the car, Emma got it at church for the kids Primary program this year. They love it and want to listen to it constantly. I love to watch the girls sleep. I must go in half a dozen times at night to make sure they're tucked in and give them kisses. And it's always the last thing I do before I get in bed myself. Watching them is so peaceful and it's easy to feel like there's nothing wrong in the world.

We got some other minor good news. Our Civic is a total but it looks like it's going to be worth more than we thought. So we're hopeful that we can buy a comparable replacement outright. I also FINALLY heard back from the hospital about the whole "sending me home from the ER with internal bleeding" thing. They are going to reimburse our deductible. I'm satisfied with that. I know it wasn't intentional and I'm not holding any grudges. It's been a quiet couple of days so that's been nice. SeeingTwilight two times has helped...and hearing that they are definitely going ahead with New Moon. Like I said, one day at a time.

They say bad things happen in threes right?

If so we've HIT our limit!!! Most everyone knows that I was diagnosed with stage 1 Breast Cancer. As I've said, we have a great surgeon & the next step is to have an MRI done to see if there are any other areas that need to be looked at more closely. It's only on the left side at this point. If they determine there are more areas of the cancer, and depending on how many, I will have to undergo another excisional biopsy. I would then have to have Radiation treatment. Which, with stage 1, may be all I would need. Chemo would be the last step & if it comes to that I am 99% sure I'll opt for a double mastectomy rather than have the chemo. Even though it doesn't appear there's nothing on the right side they would still do a double to be safe & so that reconstructive surgery would be EVEN (so that's nice I guess!). Anyway, we could get lucky if the MRI determines it was only in the area they removed (which was approximately 1.7 cm), which again, and if I understood correctly, would only mean having Radiation treatment. It's been caught very early. I still can't believe I caught it myself with just an exam. I have rarely ever done them...I got very lucky I did one when I did. I believe the surgeon called it "ductal cancer", which is quite common...as far as breast cancer goes, or so she said. Anyway, I'm not sure when the MRI will be. Next week at the earliest, most likely after Thanksgiving.

So there is that....and you don't think it could get worse right? Well, think again. Coray got into a car accident last night on the way home from work. He's fine. The car is not and the other driver was on a motorcycle. The guy has a broken leg...we're not sure what else but the cops told us that looks like the extent of it. He was coherent at the hospital & all. It's almost funny all the garbage that we're having to deal with right now. I feel like I wake up in the morning & say "what's next"? What else are we going to have to deal with? What's going to happen today? I'm pretty sure the car is totaled, it's not driveable. The whole front end was pretty smashed in. I mean, it's a '99 Civic so it's not worth a whole lot. But that just means we're going to have to get a new car. Not something we really have in our budget right now. I will say we have a great ward here. I was talking on the phone with one of my friends that goes to church with us when Coray rang in. When I clicked back over to her I told her that Coray had been in an accident & I had to go. She asked me where he was & I told her. Well she sent her husband over to help out & they ended up letting us have our car towed to their house because they have space...more than we have in our subdivision anyway. Plus there will be easier access for the insurance company at their house. That is good. Also, luckily my good friend Jen lives directly across the way & was able to come over & hang out with the girls while I went to help out Coray. Then, while we were standing on the corner....right where you turn down the road to our subdivision, two other ladies from our ward drove by & stopped to see if we needed any help. One of them was actually on her way to our house to drop off some soup for us. And today I found out that there were at least two other people from the ward that saw it but didn't stop because they didn't want to create a traffic jam of cars! Oh my gosh.

So yeah, this just sucks. I keep thinking about Job in the Bible, I'm feeling a bit of his pain right now. We could really use your support & prayers.

On the upside I'm going to the midnight showing of TWILIGHT tonight because I really, really could use a break right about now!! And we're going to Arizona next week for Thanksgiving & are really looking forward to that. Trying to stay positive through all the madness. One day at a time around here.

HALLOWEEN

So I'm finally getting Halloween pictures up. Thursday the 30th Emma had a party at her school & they all got to dress up. She insisted on being a princess for the party so who am I to argue with a five year old? Oddly enough she was the ONLY princess in her class (of around 30 kids)! I went to help out her teacher, Mrs. Latham, so I got to be there for the party. If I understood correctly, only the Kindergartners got to dress up & then they had a parade around the school for all the other kids to see. Emma got to lead the way for her class. We also went to their cousin's Trunk or Treat party later that night. Emma wore her purple butterfly costume & Gracie was a white kitty. Grandpa was still here (staying with Dave & Skye) so we got a picture of all the kids with Grandpa. We sure have some scary little monsters for nephews! Gracie wasn't sure what to think of them & was a little scared until Parker gave her a hug. It was cute. On Friday (Halloween day) we went to our ward Trunk or Treat party & they got more candy. Our neighbors (the Oxfords) came too & the kids sure had fun running around. Coray sat in the car, behind the spider webs, and handed out the candy. Both the girls wanted to give it out with him after awhile. All in all it was a fun Halloween, even if it was still a little warm out!!

Carving pumpkins with Grandpa

Grandpa was here on Monday & helped the girls carve their pumpkins. They had fun scooping out all the seeds & getting their hands messy.

The Pumpkin Patch

Sunset Station has a pumpkin patch set up in their parking lot. The girls have been begging to go over so we decided it'd be a good family activity. Of course it was quite warm out still today so we didn't stay as long as the girls would have liked & I wouldn't let them wear their long-sleeved Halloween attire...who knows if we'll ever live in a cooler climate! Anyway, there was a huge blow up slide there & they, of course, went down it several times. They also got to pet some goats & go on a little circular car ride. Yeah, they had fun. We got two pumpkins afterwards & plan to carve them next week....so they don't spoil. We did, however, get a cool electric one to use until then! They had previously decided that they were going to be Little Red Riding Hood & the Big Gracie Wolf for Halloween, but due to some wardrobe malfunctions in shipping they have changed their minds (or I should say I changed it for them...paying shipping multiple times is ridiculous!). Emma is now going to be a purple butterfly & Gracie is going to be a white kitty...thank you Old Navy!

Follow ups

So wouldn't you know it but just after I posted about Gracie being accident free for five days...yep, you guessed it...she had an accident. Oh well, she's doing great & we're very proud of her for doing such a good job.

I also found out that the reason the ER sent me home from the hospital that night I went was because on the Ultrasound report the Radiologist wrote "no free fluid" was seen. Um...HUGE, HUGE miscommunication there between the Radiologist & the US tech because the two things she told me while doing the US were that she couldn't find a fetus anywhere & she saw a lot of fluid! Hello Mr. Radiologist! It sure makes me wonder if he even looked at the images because I'm sure he would've seen it there. I have reported the whole thing to the hospital & have spoke to the "Director of Quality" who assured me they do take these kind of things very seriously & someone will be getting back to me. In the meantime, however, they sure haven't hesitated to send me that co-pay bill I owe them. "Sorry we screwed up but hey would you mind paying us for the shoddy service we provided"? (not a direct quote by the way) Nice. Gotta love the health care system in this country.

POTTY TRAINING SUCCESS!!!

Conference weekend (can't beat church in PJ's!), cooler weather & potty training success! Life is good.

Seemingly overnight I think something has clicked with Gracie & she is now using the potty every day. She hasn't had ANY accidents in going on five days now. We told her if she had none for three days we'd take her to get ice cream & today is the first chance we've had. So of course we went to Coldstone. The girls have a blast there. Coldstone always seems to have their music up fairly loud & the girls love to dance around. I guess you can't beat ice cream & dancing when you're little. Thankfully Coldstone doesn't seem to mind.

YAY Gracie!! We're SOOO proud of you!!! (and Mommy is so happy not to be changing diapers 10 times a day!) Woo Hoo!!

Playing with the new camera

This new camera is fun! I have no idea what I'm doing yet though. Just trying to figure it all out & I got the girls to pose for a couple pictures. (The camera is a Nikon D60...digital SLR. My Mom bought it for me...thanks again Mom!)

Birthdays you remember

As we get older we tend to conveniently forget our birthdays. Emma kept asking me why I wasn't having a party...and, for that matter, why her cousins were not invited. It's hard to explain to a five year old why grown ups don't really have parties every year anymore. Though I've had a nice birthday I got to thinking about birthdays you remember & I have to say one of the coolest I have ever had was my 20th birthday. I didn't do anything super exciting that I remember, what made it so cool was the fact that early that morning (before I'd even really woke up) my Dad & his wife at the time, Carol, called me to wish me happy birthday. I remember being a little irritated that they were calling so early & waking me up. What was that all about? You wouldn't think it was that big of a deal right? Wrong. The reason they had called so early (for me anyway) was because Carol had just had a baby girl & as my birthday present they were going to let ME name her! My sweet little sister Rachael Kristine & I share a birthday. It's pretty cool. Even though we don't see each other often & don't talk to each other all the time, she's still my little sister & I love her very much. So, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my beautiful baby sister. I love you & miss you & wish you all good things (and thanks for letting me steal your picture)!

Fun with Aunt Skye

So while I was in the hospital this past weekend & while Coray was at work, the girls were hanging out with Aunt Skye. One of their favorite things to do is play dress up...yes, they're definitely girlie girls. I think they must have been in heaven. Thanks again Skye! I don't know what we would've done without you!