We got some more news yesterday at the Oncologist office as she had received the Pathology report from my surgery. Bad news & good news but it doesn't really change my treatment. It seems the tumor they removed was 11cm, which took me from stage one to stage three! The good news is that they removed 12 lymph nodes and only two of the sentinel nodes were positive, so it had started to spread but hadn't gotten anywhere yet. My Chemo will begin on February 13th & I will most likely be having Radiation therapy after I'm done with my big chemo (approximately 18 weeks).
My recovery is going fairly well. I'm still tired & sore but feeling all-right. The worst thing is these drains are driving me NUTS! They don't really hurt but they are irritating & there is one literally coming out of each side of my body. I am going to my Plastic Surgeon's office tomorrow for a follow up & I believe he will be taking at least one of them out. The other is still draining more fluid than it should be (nothing serious though) so I'm almost positive he won't let me get that one out yet. Bummer. But I won't complain because only having one is better than two! We still have people bringing us dinner for the next couple nights & one of my sweet friends sent a cleaning lady over today...YAY! (Thanks again Mer) My Mother in Law has been here since last Friday & has been such a huge help, especially with the girls. And they have loved having Nana here. All in all I can't complain...ok, I could complain but it really would serve no purpose. Just, thank goodness for painkillers!
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Home from the hospital
I got home yesterday & have been sleeping/resting a lot. I'm very tired & sore but not in a ton of pain. I really thought I'd be more emotional at seeing the results. It's definitely strange but really I'm ok with it. I guess I'm just glad to live in this day & age when we have the technology that makes it possible to beat cancer. I should add that during the surgery they biopsied the sentinel lymph node (that's the lymph node that's closest to the cancer) and it did come back positive. That means it has/had started to spread and, if I understand it all correctly, it makes me at stage 2 now. My surgeon removed the sentinel node & several others, which will also be biopsied. I have an appointment with my Oncologist on Monday & am hoping she has the results. It's not going to really change anything though and the Chemo should pretty much kill any remaining cancer cells. I know Chemo is going to suck but if I didn't have the Mastectomy & Chemo the fact is I would eventually die. So yeah, I'm ok with it. I'll give up part of my body so that I can live, no problem. I was trying to explain Chemo to Emma. It's hard to talk to a five year old about how I'm going to have to take medicine that will make me very sick but will ultimately help me get better. The girls have been really good though & are being very gentle around me.
So many people have reached out to support us during this & I'm humbled & overwhelmed by it all. I don't feel "courageous" or like I'm an "inspiration" but I do feel blessed to have so many wonderful people in our lives. I've mentioned this to a few but in our faith we are taught that the Lord will not give us more than we can handle. So, when I found out I had cancer, after the initial "well that sucks" thought the next thing that popped into my head was that I must be able to handle this then because I know that God wouldn't give it to me if I couldn't. And I truly believe that. I have talked to some amazing women who have been through this already and their candor and support have been incredibly helpful. No one wants to ever deal with cancer but I hope that this experience will allow me to help someone else get through it someday too. I am looking forward to the day I can call myself a survivor. And that day will come, mark my words!
So many people have reached out to support us during this & I'm humbled & overwhelmed by it all. I don't feel "courageous" or like I'm an "inspiration" but I do feel blessed to have so many wonderful people in our lives. I've mentioned this to a few but in our faith we are taught that the Lord will not give us more than we can handle. So, when I found out I had cancer, after the initial "well that sucks" thought the next thing that popped into my head was that I must be able to handle this then because I know that God wouldn't give it to me if I couldn't. And I truly believe that. I have talked to some amazing women who have been through this already and their candor and support have been incredibly helpful. No one wants to ever deal with cancer but I hope that this experience will allow me to help someone else get through it someday too. I am looking forward to the day I can call myself a survivor. And that day will come, mark my words!
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Disneyland - Day 2 (Tuesday, Jan. 13th)
Happy Birthday Gracie!!! Many more pictures on Tuesday but again, I've narrowed it down considerably. We started off in California Adventure & once again did the Princess lunch at Ariel's Grotto. It's so dang expensive but we have a Disney rewards Visa & with all the medical bills we've had lately we actually had the lunch paid for with our Disney reward dollars! Um...Yay?! lol Anyway, the girls loved it & they gave Gracie a little birthday cake with a candle & sang Happy Birthday to her. She was so cute talking to all the princesses. My friend Michelle & her daughter Caitlyn joined us & were able to spend the whole day with us! It was so much fun....thanks again for coming Michelle! On a side note, the only place in either of the parks that you will get anything for free is in California Adventure....they have a Mission Tortilla Factory & a sourdough bread factory & will actually give out samples. We hit up the tortilla factory both days. YUM! Anyway, the girls also went nuts at the Playhouse Disney show. Coray & I were just laughing at how much fun Gracie was having jumping around, dancing in the aisle & singing. It was so cute to watch. We spent more time in A Bug's Land & the girls enjoyed the Monster's Inc. ride a lot too. I really like California Adventure....it's never as crowded as the Disneyland side is either. We stayed the whole day again & they were even showing Fantasmic so we stayed to watch that too. That was honestly one of my favorite shows when I used to work there & I never really got tired of watching it so it was fun to see it again. Emma was a bit scared during one particular part with the dragon but otherwise she loved it too. It was such a fun trip!
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Disneyland - Day 1 (Monday, Jan.12th)
Not as many pictures as we took on Tuesday but equally as fun...I narrowed it down to about ten pictures. The girls had an absolute blast running around Toontown. We rode Gadget's Go-Coaster (little roller coaster) over & over a few times. It was GREAT because it wasn't crowded at all. I packed for January weather & they had record breaking heat around 80 degrees. It was almost hot! We also had a good time in A Bug's Land (California Adventure) & went on this one little ride I think three times in a row just before they closed. I'll get day two up later.
Friday, January 16, 2009
Hospital registration and pre-surgical appointments
Ok, our Disney trip was AWESOME and my little three year old is just not a baby anymore. The girls had a blast and I have about 100 pictures to go through and upload...I'm intimidated but will try to get that done this weekend and post more about our trip. Wednesday night, after we got back from So Cal, Skye hosted a "hat and scarf" party for me at our church building. It was so much fun. I got some cute hats and scarves and a sizeable amount of cash to buy more! Thanks to Skye and Kylie and all the lovely ladies who came and brought yummy food and desserts and spent part of their evening with me. I really feel blessed to have such a great support group!
I had to go register at the hospital today for surgery next Wednesday, and I had to have lab work done (yes, more needles...yuck), an EKG and a pre-surgical exam with my plastic surgeon. I'm feeling a lot of anxiety and definitely overwhelmed. Mostly because of what will happen BEFORE the surgery. I have to have a sentinel lymph node biopsy during the surgery, no big deal since I'll be out cold. BUT, before the surgery they have to place a marker in me so the surgeon knows exactly where to go to do the biopsy. The last time I had a marker placed was in October when my first surgeon did a needle biopsy and placed a marker where that had been done. It was honestly the most horrible, traumatic experience of my life. I can't even describe how painful it was. I was crying on the table, I felt like I was being stabbed. And yes, she used a local anesthetic...twice. So, my anxiety is about having to have that done before the surgery. I'm not even concerned about the surgery...at least I'll be under general anesthesia for that! I seriously don't know if I can do it. Not that part. They are going to HAVE to give me something or sedate me somehow. I think I'm going to call my surgeon's office to discuss it and see if anything can be done.
Anyway, I also found out the surgery (which begins at 3:00) is going to take about FOUR hours. So don't expect any calls or texts or updates (from Coray, not me) until late Wednesday night. I know after surgery I'll be in recovery for awhile before I get to a room or anything, so it could be pretty late. I have to be at the hospital at noon though. It's definitely going to be a long day for Coray. At least I'll be out for a lot of it. I am very comfortable with my surgeon and plastic surgeon so I'm good with that. Just wish me luck for before the surgery!
I had to go register at the hospital today for surgery next Wednesday, and I had to have lab work done (yes, more needles...yuck), an EKG and a pre-surgical exam with my plastic surgeon. I'm feeling a lot of anxiety and definitely overwhelmed. Mostly because of what will happen BEFORE the surgery. I have to have a sentinel lymph node biopsy during the surgery, no big deal since I'll be out cold. BUT, before the surgery they have to place a marker in me so the surgeon knows exactly where to go to do the biopsy. The last time I had a marker placed was in October when my first surgeon did a needle biopsy and placed a marker where that had been done. It was honestly the most horrible, traumatic experience of my life. I can't even describe how painful it was. I was crying on the table, I felt like I was being stabbed. And yes, she used a local anesthetic...twice. So, my anxiety is about having to have that done before the surgery. I'm not even concerned about the surgery...at least I'll be under general anesthesia for that! I seriously don't know if I can do it. Not that part. They are going to HAVE to give me something or sedate me somehow. I think I'm going to call my surgeon's office to discuss it and see if anything can be done.
Anyway, I also found out the surgery (which begins at 3:00) is going to take about FOUR hours. So don't expect any calls or texts or updates (from Coray, not me) until late Wednesday night. I know after surgery I'll be in recovery for awhile before I get to a room or anything, so it could be pretty late. I have to be at the hospital at noon though. It's definitely going to be a long day for Coray. At least I'll be out for a lot of it. I am very comfortable with my surgeon and plastic surgeon so I'm good with that. Just wish me luck for before the surgery!
Friday, January 9, 2009
Some good news
I talked to my Oncologist's office today & they got the results of my CT scan & Bone scan. They both show that the cancer has not spread anywhere else. Not that we thought it had but....YAY!!
I've been surfing the net for some hats & such. There are some cute ones out there. Plus Skye is throwing me a "hat & scarf" party next Wednesday evening at our church, after we get back from So Cal. I should have lots to choose from when the time comes. Even though I don't plan on getting any synthetic wigs, I did find one I totally love & plan to get: http://www.zoogstercostumes.com/products/ru50496.html#
Hey, I might as well have a LITTLE fun with this! Pink = breast cancer....it's appropriate!
I've been surfing the net for some hats & such. There are some cute ones out there. Plus Skye is throwing me a "hat & scarf" party next Wednesday evening at our church, after we get back from So Cal. I should have lots to choose from when the time comes. Even though I don't plan on getting any synthetic wigs, I did find one I totally love & plan to get: http://www.zoogstercostumes.com/products/ru50496.html#
Hey, I might as well have a LITTLE fun with this! Pink = breast cancer....it's appropriate!
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Happy New Year! We're going to Disneyland!!!
I feel like one of those old Superbowl commercials...."Kristine, you just found out you have cancer, what are you going to do now?" ha ha ha
It's been crazy with doctor's appointments & tests & blood draws & scans and since Gracie's birthday is on the 13th...yep, we're going to Disneyland. My "baby" is going to be THREE!!! I have a couple friends from my Disneyland days who still work there, plus Coray's uncle Joe has been the drummer in the Disneyland band since like they opened (just KIDDING uncle Joe!) so we have "connections" to get us signed in. Plus Uncle Joe & Aunt Verna let us know we could stay with them so no hotel needed! Yay! Practically free Disneyland trip! We're going to go down the 11th, go to the Parks the 12th & 13th and come home the 14th. It'll be a quick trip but I think we so need it before my surgery, which WAS scheduled on the 15th but got moved (due to a scheduling debacle) to the 21st. I'm pretty sure I've decided to do the double mastectomy because I really don't want to have to go through this EVER again if I can at all avoid it. My insurance company (the jerks) denied the PET scan my Oncologist ordered because you have to be stage 2 or higher, per their "requirements", to qualify for one. Instead I have to have a CT scan (next Monday) & a Bone scan (next Tuesday). And I'm sure two scans are MUCH cheaper than one (insert sarcasm). I don't know, maybe they are but it's just ONE more test I have to have before surgery. Oh well, not like I have anything better to do & what's one more stick with a needle? (insert more sarcasm)
I ended up getting an infection & had to go to the doctor. He told me they were going to give me an antibiotic shot & they asked me if I was ok with needles. I think they were a little worried for a second when I started to laugh.
Everyone keeps asking me how I feel & for the record.... I feel fine! I guess that's one of the crazy things about cancer. I'm not nervous...yet. I know as it gets closer I will be. Focusing on other things, like Disneyland, is helping. Recovery is going to be difficult & chemo is not going to be a picnic. I was sitting outside with a couple of my friends the other day & our kids were all playing. It was probably in the upper 50's & I was getting chilly. I just kept thinking about how cold my ears were going to get without hair! I definitely need to get some hats & scarves & such. I should start really looking into that!
It's been crazy with doctor's appointments & tests & blood draws & scans and since Gracie's birthday is on the 13th...yep, we're going to Disneyland. My "baby" is going to be THREE!!! I have a couple friends from my Disneyland days who still work there, plus Coray's uncle Joe has been the drummer in the Disneyland band since like they opened (just KIDDING uncle Joe!) so we have "connections" to get us signed in. Plus Uncle Joe & Aunt Verna let us know we could stay with them so no hotel needed! Yay! Practically free Disneyland trip! We're going to go down the 11th, go to the Parks the 12th & 13th and come home the 14th. It'll be a quick trip but I think we so need it before my surgery, which WAS scheduled on the 15th but got moved (due to a scheduling debacle) to the 21st. I'm pretty sure I've decided to do the double mastectomy because I really don't want to have to go through this EVER again if I can at all avoid it. My insurance company (the jerks) denied the PET scan my Oncologist ordered because you have to be stage 2 or higher, per their "requirements", to qualify for one. Instead I have to have a CT scan (next Monday) & a Bone scan (next Tuesday). And I'm sure two scans are MUCH cheaper than one (insert sarcasm). I don't know, maybe they are but it's just ONE more test I have to have before surgery. Oh well, not like I have anything better to do & what's one more stick with a needle? (insert more sarcasm)
I ended up getting an infection & had to go to the doctor. He told me they were going to give me an antibiotic shot & they asked me if I was ok with needles. I think they were a little worried for a second when I started to laugh.
Everyone keeps asking me how I feel & for the record.... I feel fine! I guess that's one of the crazy things about cancer. I'm not nervous...yet. I know as it gets closer I will be. Focusing on other things, like Disneyland, is helping. Recovery is going to be difficult & chemo is not going to be a picnic. I was sitting outside with a couple of my friends the other day & our kids were all playing. It was probably in the upper 50's & I was getting chilly. I just kept thinking about how cold my ears were going to get without hair! I definitely need to get some hats & scarves & such. I should start really looking into that!
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