Some pretty fun news

Skye told me last month that a photographer she knows, Amy Leavitt, was participating in this project called "Giving is Awesome". This is the premise in Amy's words from her website (www.amyleavittphotography.com):

"You know someone. You know someone who’s experienced a tragedy, is struggling to stay afloat, is raising kids while holding down more than one job, or is volunteering selflessly despite extenuating personal circumstances. You know someone who can’t afford custom photography, but who would cherish it fully. You know someone who deserves a year-round reminder of their family’s spirit, love, and beauty.

You know someone. I guarantee it.

I want to know who they are, and I want to give them the chance to experience complimentary custom photography worth over $750. The winner will receive a photo session with me, 5×7 prints from the session and the complete set of digital files."

So, Skye nominated us (and boy would I love to read what she wrote!). I got an e-mail from Amy today saying we won. Wow! It's bittersweet for me because dang....I guess we've been going through some pretty crappy stuff lately. When I really think about everything it's tough and I break down, because you know....it just plain sucks. I mean, I "should" be seven months pregnant right now. I should be fat and happy and rearranging furniture. I hate that there's a part of me that just cries every time I hear another friend tell me she's pregnant. I shouldn't know as much as I do about chemotherapy, about drugs like Taxotere, Carboplatin & Herceptin. About how toxic they are and how they literally try to kill you....just to make you better in the long run. About the plethora of insane side effects and the havoc they wreak on your body. I shouldn't have two huge, angry scars across my chest. I shouldn't have to try and explain all this garbage to two beautiful little faces who just cannot understand it all. I shouldn't know so much about this monstrous disease called cancer, no one should.

Still...I'm ok. As difficult as this is I'm ok. I'll make it through because I have every reason to. I'm not more tough than the next person, I'm not more inspiring. You just do what you have to do. There is no alternative. I'm not done yet and cancer certainly isn't going to stop me.

So I'm excited for the opportunity to have some wonderful family pictures taken. After talking to Amy this afternoon we're planning to do it this Sunday afternoon at Red Rock or a park she knows of. Hopefully it'll be before my hair falls out because I know it's going to start any day now!! It's nice to have something fun to think about instead of just my next Chemo session. And, by the way, the Herceptin only days are not so bad. The IV drip is only about half an hour and the side effects don't seem nearly as harsh. Hopefully that will continue. So thanks Skye and thanks Amy, it'll be so fun to do this as a family and despite whether or not I have hair, I know we'll get some great pictures of the girls!