I got home yesterday & have been sleeping/resting a lot. I'm very tired & sore but not in a ton of pain. I really thought I'd be more emotional at seeing the results. It's definitely strange but really I'm ok with it. I guess I'm just glad to live in this day & age when we have the technology that makes it possible to beat cancer. I should add that during the surgery they biopsied the sentinel lymph node (that's the lymph node that's closest to the cancer) and it did come back positive. That means it has/had started to spread and, if I understand it all correctly, it makes me at stage 2 now. My surgeon removed the sentinel node & several others, which will also be biopsied. I have an appointment with my Oncologist on Monday & am hoping she has the results. It's not going to really change anything though and the Chemo should pretty much kill any remaining cancer cells. I know Chemo is going to suck but if I didn't have the Mastectomy & Chemo the fact is I would eventually die. So yeah, I'm ok with it. I'll give up part of my body so that I can live, no problem. I was trying to explain Chemo to Emma. It's hard to talk to a five year old about how I'm going to have to take medicine that will make me very sick but will ultimately help me get better. The girls have been really good though & are being very gentle around me.
So many people have reached out to support us during this & I'm humbled & overwhelmed by it all. I don't feel "courageous" or like I'm an "inspiration" but I do feel blessed to have so many wonderful people in our lives. I've mentioned this to a few but in our faith we are taught that the Lord will not give us more than we can handle. So, when I found out I had cancer, after the initial "well that sucks" thought the next thing that popped into my head was that I must be able to handle this then because I know that God wouldn't give it to me if I couldn't. And I truly believe that. I have talked to some amazing women who have been through this already and their candor and support have been incredibly helpful. No one wants to ever deal with cancer but I hope that this experience will allow me to help someone else get through it someday too. I am looking forward to the day I can call myself a survivor. And that day will come, mark my words!
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6 comments:
Oh, I am so glad you are home and that you have such a great attitude and you aren't to sore. I told Chris this morning that I need to call you today. Haven't done it yet, but I will. Love you!
I am so happy that everything is going so well and that you are feeling good enough to post. I hope it goes well on Monday. Remember I can help if you need.
"all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good” (D&C 122:7).
Sometimes hard to experience but always worth it in the end.
I'm so glad things went well-We're always thinking about you. Keep up your positive attitude and you will be fine!
I am amazed at how you are handling everything. I talked to my mom after she heard the results from the mastectomy and I was so upset and feeling sorry for you and Coray and the girls because I knew you were hoping for good news for a change. After reading this post, I know that I should have known better. Thank you for staying strong and being such an amazing example to me. Even though I'm not there, I think about you all the time and you continue to be in our prayers. xoxo
I want to publicly tell you how proud I am of you. You truly are one of the most amazing people I have ever met, and I am humbled to be your husband. I know you will beat this thing and be a stronger person for it.
I look forward to the sacrifices our family will make together, as I know it will strengthen our love for one another.
You guys have been in our prayers and we pray for your continued strength and health! Good luck!
And you are absolutely right about the challenges we are given. Thanks for sharing.
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